eBaiting.com - The Chats - eBay Has Broken

4/30/2007 (Day 186)

Day 186 started out annoying and got worse from there. In this first chat, LiveHelp's automated system told me my wait time in the queue was approximately 2 seconds. I waited almost 10 minutes, during which time I typed out my initial string of replies in Notepad, which was handy because then I could reuse them. In the same chat no less.

8:07:56 AM System Initial Question/Comment: Other

8:07:56 AM System Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help!

8:08:01 AM System You are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.

8:08:56 AM System We appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.

8:09:01 AM System Donna L. has joined this session!

8:09:01 AM System Connected with Donna L.

8:09:03 AM [eBaiting] That was the longest 2 seconds of my life.

8:09:03 AM Donna L. Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Donna. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?

8:09:10 AM [eBaiting] [My eBay ID]

8:09:11 AM [eBaiting] [My name]

8:09:21 AM Donna L. Hi [eBaiting]! How may I help you today?

8:09:36 AM [eBaiting] I do not think you can, but I am trying anyway.

8:09:49 AM [eBaiting] Back in October I put in a request to close my account.

8:09:58 AM [eBaiting] They said it would be closed after 180 days.

8:10:04 AM [eBaiting] Today is the 186th day and it is still active.

8:10:12 AM [eBaiting] Let me save you some time...

8:10:22 AM [eBaiting] If you check my account, you will see it is "in the process of being closed".

8:10:51 AM [eBaiting] There is a link where I can email the Trust & Safety peole

8:10:53 AM [eBaiting] people

8:11:03 AM [eBaiting] But I should not do that multiple times, as it slows the process down.

8:11:10 AM [eBaiting] But my account WILL be closed

8:11:23 AM [eBaiting] Perhaps I should check back in a few days, or by next Monday

8:11:28 AM [eBaiting] Anything you can add to that?

8:11:51 AM Donna L. I have checked the request that you have sent and it is still active.

8:12:06 AM Donna L. But it is being worked out.

8:12:46 AM Donna L. I know this is important to you but I can not just give you the exact time when can this be approved.

8:13:18 AM [eBaiting] What do you mean by approved?

8:13:31 AM Donna L. Just be assured that once everything is set, this account will be closed then.

8:13:41 AM [eBaiting] What do you mean by everything is set?

8:14:56 AM Donna L. The trust and Safety Team is checking every issues on the account. When this is done, they will close it eventually.

8:15:07 AM [eBaiting] What do you mean by every issues on the account?

8:15:11 AM Donna L. You will just be notified then.

8:15:23 AM [eBaiting] When is then?

8:15:29 AM [eBaiting] No one can give me a straight answer.

8:15:37 AM [eBaiting] My account is supposed to be closed.

8:15:43 AM [eBaiting] I no longer want to use eBay

8:15:48 AM [eBaiting] Nor will I ever want to again.

8:16:01 AM [eBaiting] The sooner the account is closed

8:16:07 AM [eBaiting] The sooner I stop wasting people's time.

8:16:13 AM [eBaiting] It is very very very very very very very very simple.

8:17:26 AM Donna L. I understand your point however, it is not just my control. If only I can close it for you I would have done it earlier.

8:17:43 AM [eBaiting] Is there any way to communicate with the people who can close it?

8:18:26 AM Donna L. It is just through Trust and Safety Team and they are only available through email.

8:19:28 AM [eBaiting] Ok I will bombard them with a few hundred more emails then.

8:20:36 AM Donna L. I apologize for the inconvenience this is giving you.

8:20:47 AM [eBaiting] Oh it is not inconvenient, it is fun.

8:21:00 AM [eBaiting] I enjoy wasting their time knowing there is nothing they can do to me

8:21:09 AM [eBaiting] The worst they could do is close my account, and that is what I want.

8:21:28 AM [eBaiting] This way I get to inconvenience OTHER eBay users who cannot get support because I am taking up support people's time.

8:23:11 AM Donna L. Please just try to wait for it to be closed.

8:23:21 AM [eBaiting] That is what I have been doing

8:23:22 AM [eBaiting] For 180 days.

8:23:32 AM [eBaiting] Now I am having fun with it.

8:23:39 AM [eBaiting] That is the way of things.

8:25:06 AM Donna L. Is there anything else I can help you with?

8:25:18 AM [eBaiting] Yes there is one thing.

8:25:37 AM [eBaiting] Back in October I put in a request to close my account.

8:25:40 AM [eBaiting] They said it would be closed after 180 days.

8:25:44 AM [eBaiting] Today is the 186th day and it is still active.

8:25:48 AM [eBaiting] Let me save you some time...

8:25:52 AM [eBaiting] If you check my account, you will see it is "in the process of being closed".

8:25:56 AM [eBaiting] There is a link where I can email the Trust & Safety peole

8:25:57 AM [eBaiting] people

8:26:00 AM [eBaiting] But I should not do that multiple times, as it slows the process down.

8:26:05 AM [eBaiting] But my account WILL be closed

8:26:09 AM [eBaiting] Perhaps I should check back in a few days, or by next Monday

8:26:13 AM [eBaiting] Anything you can add to that?

8:28:54 AM System Connected with Donna L.

8:28:54 AM Donna L. I'm afraid I couldn't add anything more since this is not under my control.

8:29:28 AM [eBaiting] Ok I will just keep bugging Trust & Safety then

8:29:41 AM [eBaiting] And starting other LiveChat sessions to waste their time as well

8:29:47 AM [eBaiting] You may go

8:30:31 AM Donna L. I appreciate your cooperation.

8:30:36 AM Donna L. It's been a pleasure talking with you today. Thank you for coming at eBay Live Chat. Have a nice day!

8:30:38 AM [eBaiting] What cooperation

[Total chat time: 23 minutes.]
Literally five minutes after the chat with Donna, an email from Trust & Safety showed up saying... (drum roll) ...that my account appeared to be "stuck" in the closing process because of a bug in eBay's code. I think I'd better investigate this...

8:36:50 AM System Initial Question/Comment: Other

8:36:56 AM System Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help!

8:36:56 AM System You are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.

8:37:36 AM System Sheryll C. has joined this session!

8:37:36 AM System Connected with Sheryll C.

8:37:38 AM Sheryll C. Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Sheryll. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?

8:37:46 AM [eBaiting] [My eBay ID]

8:37:48 AM [eBaiting] [My name]

8:38:01 AM Sheryll C. Great, thanks [eBaiting]! How may I help you?

8:38:18 AM [eBaiting] I have been trying to close my eBay account for 186 days as of today.

8:38:20 AM [eBaiting] I just got an email from eBay that there is an error on the site which is preventing my account from being closed.

8:38:26 AM [eBaiting] Just checking on the status of the fix for that.

8:39:20 AM Sheryll C. I'm sorry to hear that. I'll be glad to assist you on this matter.

8:39:26 AM Sheryll C. Let me check on your account then. Can I have your registered Email Address as well?

8:39:56 AM [eBaiting] The one I originally signed up with, or the one I currently have on file?

8:40:01 AM [eBaiting] See I have done this before!

8:40:11 AM [eBaiting] I know the things you will ask before you even ask them

8:40:15 AM [eBaiting] OOOOOOOoooOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOO

8:40:51 AM Sheryll C. I need the Email Address you currently have on file.

8:40:57 AM [eBaiting] [My eBay ID], [My email address]

8:41:11 AM Sheryll C. Thanks! Please give me a moment while I check on this matter.

8:45:31 AM Sheryll C. It seems that the account is still active. What I can do with this is to pull up a link where you can make a follow up on this matter. To contact them, please click on the link I will be sending you. Scroll down the page then click on 'Email Us'.

8:45:45 AM [eBaiting] That is not the problem.

8:45:50 AM [eBaiting] I know the account is still active.

8:45:59 AM [eBaiting] I got an email from them saying it was because of a bug on the site.

8:46:07 AM [eBaiting] They told me they were working on a fix for it.

8:46:12 AM [eBaiting] I am just checking on the status of that fix.

8:46:51 AM Sheryll C. Sorry but it is still not.

8:47:01 AM Sheryll C. But as I can see that they're taking note of this matter.

8:47:05 AM [eBaiting] It is still not what?

8:47:21 AM Sheryll C. Still not fix as your account is still active.

8:47:28 AM [eBaiting] So once it is "fix"

8:47:33 AM [eBaiting] Will they close my account immediately?

8:47:38 AM [eBaiting] Or will I have to ask them again?

8:47:47 AM [eBaiting] Or will I have to put in another request and wait another 180 days?

8:47:56 AM Sheryll C. Yes, they will once they fix it.

8:48:01 AM [eBaiting] Sorry, 186

8:48:04 AM [eBaiting] Today is the 186th day

8:48:08 AM [eBaiting] I am keeping track

8:48:14 AM [eBaiting] I write it on my calendar

8:48:23 AM [eBaiting] Tomorrow is the 187th day

8:49:01 AM Sheryll C. But just to make sure, you may send them an email for follow- up.

8:49:11 AM [eBaiting] I have already sent them like 50 today

8:49:15 AM [eBaiting] I will keep at it

8:49:18 AM [eBaiting] Thanks for the suggestion

8:49:51 AM Sheryll C. You're most welcome. I hope everything can be resolved as quickly as possible and to your satisfaction.

[Total chat time: 13 minutes.]
Well, it seems I have a real mess on my hands. Wouldn't it be great if I had a friend at eBay I could talk to? Except, hey wait, I do! Jerry M. (the one I asked about porno) agreed to be my friend back on Day 183, remember?

9:04:13 AM System Initial Question/Comment: Other

9:04:19 AM System Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help!

9:04:19 AM System You are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.

9:05:14 AM System We appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.

9:06:14 AM System We apologize for the wait and thank you for your continued patience. Please continue to hold to keep your place in line. You should be connected to the next available agent shortly.

9:07:14 AM System We are sorry for the delayed connection. Your question is important to us and one of our representatives will be with you soon.

9:07:39 AM System Jef J. has joined this session!

9:07:39 AM System Connected with Jef J.

9:07:49 AM Jef J. Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jef. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having your User ID and first name please?

9:10:01 AM [eBaiting] [My eBay ID]

9:10:05 AM [eBaiting] [My name]

9:10:34 AM Jef J. Hi [eBaiting]! How may I help you today?

9:10:58 AM [eBaiting] I need to talk to my friend

9:11:54 AM Jef J. Don't worry, I'd be happy to assist you.

9:12:00 AM [eBaiting] His name is Jerry M

9:12:09 AM [eBaiting] And he is a LiveHelp person

9:12:44 AM Jef J. Hi there Jerry! May I ask if you happen to know his name please?

9:12:51 AM [eBaiting] No I am [eBaiting]

9:12:55 AM [eBaiting] Jerry M is my friend's name

9:13:14 AM Jef J. I see, sorry for the mix up there.

9:13:24 AM Jef J. Let me check if he's still available, ok?

9:13:27 AM [eBaiting] Ok

9:14:49 AM Jef J. Hi there [eBaiting], it appears that Jerry M is unavailable right now, I think he's taking his break.

9:14:57 AM [eBaiting] That is okay, I can wait

9:14:57 AM Jef J. I'd be happy to assist you.

9:15:49 AM Jef J. I'm not really quite sure what time he will be back though.

9:16:06 AM [eBaiting] I would prefer to talk with Jerry as he is my friend

9:17:09 AM Jef J. Oh, okay. So, are you just going to come back or you're going to wait for him?

9:17:19 AM [eBaiting] I can wait

9:18:14 AM Jef J. Okay.

A few minutes later...

9:25:29 AM Jef J. Hi there, good news.

9:25:44 AM Jef J. Looks like Jerry is already available right now.

9:25:50 AM [eBaiting] Awesome

9:26:24 AM Jef J. I'll transfer you to him, now , ok?

9:26:28 AM [eBaiting] Ok

9:27:54 AM Jef J. It's been a pleasure speaking with you today. Thank you for coming to eBay Live Chat, have a great day.

9:27:59 AM System Jef J. has left this session!

9:27:59 AM System Jerry M. has joined this session!

9:27:59 AM System Connected with Jerry M.

9:28:04 AM Jerry M. Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jerry. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?

9:28:14 AM [eBaiting] Jerry it's me!

9:28:23 AM [eBaiting] Your friend

9:28:29 AM Jerry M. Oh hi there.

9:28:34 AM Jerry M. I remember you.

9:28:52 AM [eBaiting] You do?

9:29:29 AM Jerry M. Yes, how's your account situation? I know you're still concern about closing your eBay account.

9:29:53 AM [eBaiting] Well there has been a development

9:30:00 AM [eBaiting] I got an email this morning from eBay

9:30:14 AM [eBaiting] They said there was a bug in their system that was preventing them from closing it.

9:30:19 AM [eBaiting] And they were working on a fix

9:30:28 AM [eBaiting] I was wondering if you could check on the status of the fix

9:30:39 AM [eBaiting] (not the account closure, I know that is still open)

9:32:14 AM Jerry M. I'd like to take a quick look at your account and verify your account information. May I please have your email address, full name, complete address, zip code and phone number as registered in your account please?

9:32:41 AM [eBaiting] [My eBay ID], [My email address]

9:32:45 AM [eBaiting] [My real name]

9:32:48 AM [eBaiting] [My address line 1]

9:32:52 AM [eBaiting] [My address line 2]

9:32:57 AM [eBaiting] [My phone number]

9:33:39 AM Jerry M. Thank you. Just a moment please while I review your account to verify the information you've given me.

9:37:24 AM Jerry M. I appreciate your patience while waiting.

9:39:34 AM Jerry M. Please bear with me a moment longer.

9:40:19 AM Jerry M. I've noticed you've sent couple of email [eBaiting].

9:41:01 AM [eBaiting] More like 200

9:42:39 AM Jerry M. Wow, that's a lot.

9:42:53 AM [eBaiting] I just click the back button and hit send again

9:42:58 AM [eBaiting] Whenever I have a few spare moments

9:43:04 AM [eBaiting] Like when I'm waiting on LiveHelp replies

9:44:41 AM [eBaiting] I just did it a few more times right now.

9:45:24 AM Jerry M. I suggest that you please refrain from sending lots of email since your concern is still on process.

9:45:58 AM [eBaiting] Nah I don't think I will be doing that

9:46:35 AM [eBaiting] Just because everyone has said I should stop

9:46:41 AM [eBaiting] It is my only leverage

9:48:04 AM Jerry M. I understand your point.

9:48:32 AM [eBaiting] So any idea how the fix is coming along?

9:48:43 AM [eBaiting] I don't know if they let you talk to the programming people

9:48:49 AM Jerry M. Your account has been activated again due to the error of closing it.

9:49:09 AM Jerry M. What you can do is to re-submit the closure request.

9:49:12 AM [eBaiting] whoa wait

9:49:19 AM [eBaiting] And wait ANOTHER 180 days you mean?

9:49:22 AM [eBaiting] That is unacceptable

9:49:35 AM [eBaiting] I want it closed now

9:49:55 AM [eBaiting] I followed procedure, this is eBay's screwup, THEY should take care of it.

9:49:59 AM Jerry M. No, you don't have to wait for 180 days since your account has been inactive, it was just reinstated for you to submit the request again.

9:50:09 AM [eBaiting] Where do I go to submit the request?

9:50:29 AM Jerry M. Please give me a moment to pull up the link for you, I'll get back to you shortly.

9:51:29 AM Jerry M. If you'd like to close your eBay account, please go to: http://pages.ebay.com/help/account/closing-account.html Then click the "request to close your account" link toward the bottom of the page.

9:53:08 AM [eBaiting] Ok it says eBay requires a waiting period of 14 days

9:53:14 AM [eBaiting] I take it that means 180 days

9:53:45 AM [eBaiting] Just to be sure they get it I will submit the close request multiple times.

9:53:56 AM [eBaiting] Whenever I have a free moment

9:54:40 AM [eBaiting] Oh okay, I get a message that is is already scheduled for closure

9:54:56 AM [eBaiting] So I will just continue checking in with LiveHelp every day like I have been

9:55:09 AM [eBaiting] I will also keep pounding Trust & Safety with emals

9:55:10 AM [eBaiting] emails

9:55:24 AM [eBaiting] So, the bug that was preventing me from closing IS fixed, then?

9:56:04 AM Jerry M. Yes, it's fixed now that's why they have to reinstate your account again to accept the account closure.

9:56:33 AM Jerry M. Do you have other concerns I may be able to help you with?

9:56:38 AM [eBaiting] Ok well, guess I'll mark my calendar for 14 days from now

9:57:09 AM Jerry M. Okay, I look forward that your account will finally be settled with your request.

9:58:07 AM [eBaiting] It is sad that eBay did not notice the problem until I contacted them

9:59:04 AM Jerry M. I am sorry that this happened to your account, rest assure that this will be guided accordingly since they already noticed the problem of closing your account.

9:59:24 AM Jerry M. Is there anything else I may help you with?

9:59:50 AM [eBaiting] I will continue emailing them just to be sure

10:01:04 AM [eBaiting] I do not trust eBay to handle things without me holding their hand and wiping their butt every step of the way

10:01:14 AM [eBaiting] They have already pooped all over themselves once

10:01:36 AM [eBaiting] Twice if you count the screwup that made me want to leave to begin with

10:03:04 AM Jerry M. Rest assure that things will be okay this time [eBaiting].

10:03:44 AM [eBaiting] No I don't believe I will do that

10:03:59 AM [eBaiting] I will continue to make my wishes known

10:04:03 AM [eBaiting] That is the way of things

10:07:19 AM Jerry M. Is there anything else I may help you with?

10:07:27 AM [eBaiting] No but I wanted to tell you

10:07:32 AM [eBaiting] I finally found some good porno

10:08:54 AM Jerry M. Oh that's good.

10:09:07 AM [eBaiting] Do you want to know where I found it?

10:09:09 AM Jerry M. Anyway, I will be closing now [eBaiting].

10:10:24 AM Jerry M. If you do have further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us to assist you further. Thank you for your time and for using eBay Live Help.

[Total chat time: 1 hour, 6 minutes.]
Simply astonishing. Either eBay has perfected the art of screwuppery, or they are utterly diabolical in their efforts to retain me as an active account. Take your pick, I honestly can't decide.

8:07:56 AM	System	Initial Question/Comment: Other
8:07:56 AM	System	Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
8:08:01 AM	System	You are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
8:08:56 AM	System	We appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
8:09:01 AM	System	Donna L. has joined this session!
8:09:01 AM	System	Connected with Donna L.
8:09:03 AM	[eBaiting]	That was the longest 2 seconds of my life.
8:09:03 AM	Donna L.	Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Donna. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
8:09:10 AM	[eBaiting]	[My eBay ID]
8:09:11 AM	[eBaiting]	[My name]
8:09:21 AM	Donna L.	Hi [eBaiting]! How may I help you today?
8:09:36 AM	[eBaiting]	I do not think you can, but I am trying anyway.
8:09:49 AM	[eBaiting]	Back in October I put in a request to close my account.
8:09:58 AM	[eBaiting]	They said it would be closed after 180 days.
8:10:04 AM	[eBaiting]	Today is the 186th day and it is still active.
8:10:12 AM	[eBaiting]	Let me save you some time...
8:10:22 AM	[eBaiting]	If you check my account, you will see it is "in the process of being closed".
8:10:51 AM	[eBaiting]	There is a link where I can email the Trust & Safety peole
8:10:53 AM	[eBaiting]	people
8:11:03 AM	[eBaiting]	But I should not do that multiple times, as it slows the process down.
8:11:10 AM	[eBaiting]	But my account WILL be closed
8:11:23 AM	[eBaiting]	Perhaps I should check back in a few days, or by next Monday
8:11:28 AM	[eBaiting]	Anything you can add to that?
8:11:51 AM	Donna L.	I have checked the request that you have sent and it is still active.
8:12:06 AM	Donna L.	But it is being worked out.
8:12:46 AM	Donna L.	I know this is important to you but I can not just give you the exact time when can this be approved.
8:13:18 AM	[eBaiting]	What do you mean by approved?
8:13:31 AM	Donna L.	Just be assured that once everything is set, this account will be closed then.
8:13:41 AM	[eBaiting]	What do you mean by everything is set?
8:14:56 AM	Donna L.	The trust and Safety Team is checking every issues on the account. When this is done, they will close it eventually.
8:15:07 AM	[eBaiting]	What do you mean by every issues on the account?
8:15:11 AM	Donna L.	You will just be notified then.
8:15:23 AM	[eBaiting]	When is then?
8:15:29 AM	[eBaiting]	No one can give me a straight answer.
8:15:37 AM	[eBaiting]	My account is supposed to be closed.
8:15:43 AM	[eBaiting]	I no longer want to use eBay
8:15:48 AM	[eBaiting]	Nor will I ever want to again.
8:16:01 AM	[eBaiting]	The sooner the account is closed
8:16:07 AM	[eBaiting]	The sooner I stop wasting people's time.
8:16:13 AM	[eBaiting]	It is very very very very very very very very simple.
8:17:26 AM	Donna L.	I understand your point however, it is not just my control. If only I can close it for you I would have done it earlier.
8:17:43 AM	[eBaiting]	Is there any way to communicate with the people who can close it?
8:18:26 AM	Donna L.	It is just through Trust and Safety Team and they are only available through email.
8:19:28 AM	[eBaiting]	Ok I will bombard them with a few hundred more emails then.
8:20:36 AM	Donna L.	I apologize for the inconvenience this is giving you.
8:20:47 AM	[eBaiting]	Oh it is not inconvenient, it is fun.
8:21:00 AM	[eBaiting]	I enjoy wasting their time knowing there is nothing they can do to me
8:21:09 AM	[eBaiting]	The worst they could do is close my account, and that is what I want.
8:21:28 AM	[eBaiting]	This way I get to inconvenience OTHER eBay users who cannot get support because I am taking up support people's time.
8:23:11 AM	Donna L.	Please just try to wait for it to be closed.
8:23:21 AM	[eBaiting]	That is what I have been doing
8:23:22 AM	[eBaiting]	For 180 days.
8:23:32 AM	[eBaiting]	Now I am having fun with it.
8:23:39 AM	[eBaiting]	That is the way of things.
8:25:06 AM	Donna L.	Is there anything else I can help you with?
8:25:18 AM	[eBaiting]	Yes there is one thing.
8:25:37 AM	[eBaiting]	Back in October I put in a request to close my account.
8:25:40 AM	[eBaiting]	They said it would be closed after 180 days.
8:25:44 AM	[eBaiting]	Today is the 186th day and it is still active.
8:25:48 AM	[eBaiting]	Let me save you some time...
8:25:52 AM	[eBaiting]	If you check my account, you will see it is "in the process of being closed".
8:25:56 AM	[eBaiting]	There is a link where I can email the Trust & Safety peole
8:25:57 AM	[eBaiting]	people
8:26:00 AM	[eBaiting]	But I should not do that multiple times, as it slows the process down.
8:26:05 AM	[eBaiting]	But my account WILL be closed
8:26:09 AM	[eBaiting]	Perhaps I should check back in a few days, or by next Monday
8:26:13 AM	[eBaiting]	Anything you can add to that?
8:28:54 AM	System	Connected with Donna L.
8:28:54 AM	Donna L.	I'm afraid I couldn't add anything more since this is not under my control.
8:29:28 AM	[eBaiting]	Ok I will just keep bugging Trust & Safety then
8:29:41 AM	[eBaiting]	And starting other LiveChat sessions to waste their time as well
8:29:47 AM	[eBaiting]	You may go
8:30:31 AM	Donna L.	I appreciate your cooperation.
8:30:36 AM	Donna L.	It's been a pleasure talking with you today. Thank you for coming at eBay Live Chat. Have a nice day!
8:30:38 AM	[eBaiting]	What cooperation
[Total chat time: 23 minutes.] Literally five minutes after the chat with Donna, an email from Trust & Safety showed up saying... (drum roll) ...that my account appeared to be "stuck" in the closing process because of a bug in eBay's code. I think I'd better investigate this...
8:36:50 AM	System	Initial Question/Comment: Other
8:36:56 AM	System	Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
8:36:56 AM	System	You are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
8:37:36 AM	System	Sheryll C. has joined this session!
8:37:36 AM	System	Connected with Sheryll C.
8:37:38 AM	Sheryll C.	Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Sheryll. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
8:37:46 AM	[eBaiting]	[My eBay ID]
8:37:48 AM	[eBaiting]	[My name]
8:38:01 AM	Sheryll C.	Great, thanks [eBaiting]! How may I help you?
8:38:18 AM	[eBaiting]	I have been trying to close my eBay account for 186 days as of today.
8:38:20 AM	[eBaiting]	I just got an email from eBay that there is an error on the site which is preventing my account from being closed.
8:38:26 AM	[eBaiting]	Just checking on the status of the fix for that.
8:39:20 AM	Sheryll C.	I'm sorry to hear that. I'll be glad to assist you on this matter.
8:39:26 AM	Sheryll C.	Let me check on your account then. Can I have your registered Email Address as well?
8:39:56 AM	[eBaiting]	The one I originally signed up with, or the one I currently have on file?
8:40:01 AM	[eBaiting]	See I have done this before!
8:40:11 AM	[eBaiting]	I know the things you will ask before you even ask them
8:40:15 AM	[eBaiting]	OOOOOOOoooOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOO
8:40:51 AM	Sheryll C.	I need the Email Address you currently have on file.
8:40:57 AM	[eBaiting]	[My eBay ID], [My email address]
8:41:11 AM	Sheryll C.	Thanks! Please give me a moment while I check on this matter.
8:45:31 AM	Sheryll C.	It seems that the account is still active. What I can do with this is to pull up a link where you can make a follow up on this matter. To contact them, please click on the link I will be sending you. Scroll down the page then click on 'Email Us'.
8:45:45 AM	[eBaiting]	That is not the problem.
8:45:50 AM	[eBaiting]	I know the account is still active.
8:45:59 AM	[eBaiting]	I got an email from them saying it was because of a bug on the site.
8:46:07 AM	[eBaiting]	They told me they were working on a fix for it.
8:46:12 AM	[eBaiting]	I am just checking on the status of that fix.
8:46:51 AM	Sheryll C.	Sorry but it is still not.
8:47:01 AM	Sheryll C.	But as I can see that they're taking note of this matter.
8:47:05 AM	[eBaiting]	It is still not what?
8:47:21 AM	Sheryll C.	Still not fix as your account is still active.
8:47:28 AM	[eBaiting]	So once it is "fix"
8:47:33 AM	[eBaiting]	Will they close my account immediately?
8:47:38 AM	[eBaiting]	Or will I have to ask them again?
8:47:47 AM	[eBaiting]	Or will I have to put in another request and wait another 180 days?
8:47:56 AM	Sheryll C.	Yes, they will once they fix it.
8:48:01 AM	[eBaiting]	Sorry, 186
8:48:04 AM	[eBaiting]	Today is the 186th day
8:48:08 AM	[eBaiting]	I am keeping track
8:48:14 AM	[eBaiting]	I write it on my calendar
8:48:23 AM	[eBaiting]	Tomorrow is the 187th day
8:49:01 AM	Sheryll C.	But just to make sure, you may send them an email for follow- up.
8:49:11 AM	[eBaiting]	I have already sent them like 50 today
8:49:15 AM	[eBaiting]	I will keep at it
8:49:18 AM	[eBaiting]	Thanks for the suggestion
8:49:51 AM	Sheryll C.	You're most welcome. I hope everything can be resolved as quickly as possible and to your satisfaction.
[Total chat time: 13 minutes.] Well, it seems I have a real mess on my hands. Wouldn't it be great if I had a friend at eBay I could talk to? Except, hey wait, I do! Jerry M. (the one I asked about porno) agreed to be my friend back on Day 183, remember?
9:04:13 AM	System	Initial Question/Comment: Other
9:04:19 AM	System	Thank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
9:04:19 AM	System	You are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
9:05:14 AM	System	We appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
9:06:14 AM	System	We apologize for the wait and thank you for your continued patience. Please continue to hold to keep your place in line. You should be connected to the next available agent shortly.
9:07:14 AM	System	We are sorry for the delayed connection. Your question is important to us and one of our representatives will be with you soon.
9:07:39 AM	System	Jef J. has joined this session!
9:07:39 AM	System	Connected with Jef J.
9:07:49 AM	Jef J.	Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jef. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having your User ID and first name please?
9:10:01 AM	[eBaiting]	[My eBay ID]
9:10:05 AM	[eBaiting]	[My name]
9:10:34 AM	Jef J.	Hi [eBaiting]! How may I help you today?
9:10:58 AM	[eBaiting]	I need to talk to my friend
9:11:54 AM	Jef J.	Don't worry, I'd be happy to assist you.
9:12:00 AM	[eBaiting]	His name is Jerry M
9:12:09 AM	[eBaiting]	And he is a LiveHelp person
9:12:44 AM	Jef J.	Hi there Jerry! May I ask if you happen to know his name please?
9:12:51 AM	[eBaiting]	No I am [eBaiting]
9:12:55 AM	[eBaiting]	Jerry M is my friend's name
9:13:14 AM	Jef J.	I see, sorry for the mix up there.
9:13:24 AM	Jef J.	Let me check if he's still available, ok?
9:13:27 AM	[eBaiting]	Ok
9:14:49 AM	Jef J.	Hi there [eBaiting], it appears that Jerry M is unavailable right now, I think he's taking his break.
9:14:57 AM	[eBaiting]	That is okay, I can wait
9:14:57 AM	Jef J.	I'd be happy to assist you.
9:15:49 AM	Jef J.	I'm not really quite sure what time he will be back though.
9:16:06 AM	[eBaiting]	I would prefer to talk with Jerry as he is my friend
9:17:09 AM	Jef J.	Oh, okay. So, are you just going to come back or you're going to wait for him?
9:17:19 AM	[eBaiting]	I can wait
9:18:14 AM	Jef J.	Okay.
*A few minutes later...*
9:25:29 AM	Jef J.	Hi there, good news.
9:25:44 AM	Jef J.	Looks like Jerry is already available right now.
9:25:50 AM	[eBaiting]	Awesome
9:26:24 AM	Jef J.	I'll transfer you to him, now , ok?
9:26:28 AM	[eBaiting]	Ok
9:27:54 AM	Jef J.	It's been a pleasure speaking with you today. Thank you for coming to eBay Live Chat, have a great day.
9:27:59 AM	System	Jef J. has left this session!
9:27:59 AM	System	Jerry M. has joined this session!
9:27:59 AM	System	Connected with Jerry M.
9:28:04 AM	Jerry M.	Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jerry. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
9:28:14 AM	[eBaiting]	Jerry it's me!
9:28:23 AM	[eBaiting]	Your friend
9:28:29 AM	Jerry M.	Oh hi there.
9:28:34 AM	Jerry M.	I remember you.
9:28:52 AM	[eBaiting]	You do?
9:29:29 AM	Jerry M.	Yes, how's your account situation? I know you're still concern about closing your eBay account.
9:29:53 AM	[eBaiting]	Well there has been a development
9:30:00 AM	[eBaiting]	I got an email this morning from eBay
9:30:14 AM	[eBaiting]	They said there was a bug in their system that was preventing them from closing it.
9:30:19 AM	[eBaiting]	And they were working on a fix
9:30:28 AM	[eBaiting]	I was wondering if you could check on the status of the fix
9:30:39 AM	[eBaiting]	(not the account closure, I know that is still open)
9:32:14 AM	Jerry M.	I'd like to take a quick look at your account and verify your account information. May I please have your email address, full name, complete address, zip code and phone number as registered in your account please?
9:32:41 AM	[eBaiting]	[My eBay ID], [My email address]
9:32:45 AM	[eBaiting]	[My real name]
9:32:48 AM	[eBaiting]	[My address line 1]
9:32:52 AM	[eBaiting]	[My address line 2]
9:32:57 AM	[eBaiting]	[My phone number]
9:33:39 AM	Jerry M.	Thank you. Just a moment please while I review your account to verify the information you've given me.
9:37:24 AM	Jerry M.	I appreciate your patience while waiting.
9:39:34 AM	Jerry M.	Please bear with me a moment longer.
9:40:19 AM	Jerry M.	I've noticed you've sent couple of email [eBaiting].
9:41:01 AM	[eBaiting]	More like 200
9:42:39 AM	Jerry M.	Wow, that's a lot.
9:42:53 AM	[eBaiting]	I just click the back button and hit send again
9:42:58 AM	[eBaiting]	Whenever I have a few spare moments
9:43:04 AM	[eBaiting]	Like when I'm waiting on LiveHelp replies
9:44:41 AM	[eBaiting]	I just did it a few more times right now.
9:45:24 AM	Jerry M.	I suggest that you please refrain from sending lots of email since your concern is still on process.
9:45:58 AM	[eBaiting]	Nah I don't think I will be doing that
9:46:35 AM	[eBaiting]	Just because everyone has said I should stop
9:46:41 AM	[eBaiting]	It is my only leverage
9:48:04 AM	Jerry M.	I understand your point.
9:48:32 AM	[eBaiting]	So any idea how the fix is coming along?
9:48:43 AM	[eBaiting]	I don't know if they let you talk to the programming people
9:48:49 AM	Jerry M.	Your account has been activated again due to the error of closing it.
9:49:09 AM	Jerry M.	What you can do is to re-submit the closure request.
9:49:12 AM	[eBaiting]	whoa wait
9:49:19 AM	[eBaiting]	And wait ANOTHER 180 days you mean?
9:49:22 AM	[eBaiting]	That is unacceptable
9:49:35 AM	[eBaiting]	I want it closed now
9:49:55 AM	[eBaiting]	I followed procedure, this is eBay's screwup, THEY should take care of it.
9:49:59 AM	Jerry M.	No, you don't have to wait for 180 days since your account has been inactive, it was just reinstated for you to submit the request again.
9:50:09 AM	[eBaiting]	Where do I go to submit the request?
9:50:29 AM	Jerry M.	Please give me a moment to pull up the link for you, I'll get back to you shortly.
9:51:29 AM	Jerry M.	If you'd like to close your eBay account, please go to: http://pages.ebay.com/help/account/closing-account.html Then click the "request to close your account" link toward the bottom of the page.
9:53:08 AM	[eBaiting]	Ok it says eBay requires a waiting period of 14 days
9:53:14 AM	[eBaiting]	I take it that means 180 days
9:53:45 AM	[eBaiting]	Just to be sure they get it I will submit the close request multiple times.
9:53:56 AM	[eBaiting]	Whenever I have a free moment
9:54:40 AM	[eBaiting]	Oh okay, I get a message that is is already scheduled for closure
9:54:56 AM	[eBaiting]	So I will just continue checking in with LiveHelp every day like I have been
9:55:09 AM	[eBaiting]	I will also keep pounding Trust & Safety with emals
9:55:10 AM	[eBaiting]	emails
9:55:24 AM	[eBaiting]	So, the bug that was preventing me from closing IS fixed, then?
9:56:04 AM	Jerry M.	Yes, it's fixed now that's why they have to reinstate your account again to accept the account closure.
9:56:33 AM	Jerry M.	Do you have other concerns I may be able to help you with?
9:56:38 AM	[eBaiting]	Ok well, guess I'll mark my calendar for 14 days from now
9:57:09 AM	Jerry M.	Okay, I look forward that your account will finally be settled with your request.
9:58:07 AM	[eBaiting]	It is sad that eBay did not notice the problem until I contacted them
9:59:04 AM	Jerry M.	I am sorry that this happened to your account, rest assure that this will be guided accordingly since they already noticed the problem of closing your account.
9:59:24 AM	Jerry M.	Is there anything else I may help you with?
9:59:50 AM	[eBaiting]	I will continue emailing them just to be sure
10:01:04 AM	[eBaiting]	I do not trust eBay to handle things without me holding their hand and wiping their butt every step of the way
10:01:14 AM	[eBaiting]	They have already pooped all over themselves once
10:01:36 AM	[eBaiting]	Twice if you count the screwup that made me want to leave to begin with
10:03:04 AM	Jerry M.	Rest assure that things will be okay this time [eBaiting].
10:03:44 AM	[eBaiting]	No I don't believe I will do that
10:03:59 AM	[eBaiting]	I will continue to make my wishes known
10:04:03 AM	[eBaiting]	That is the way of things
10:07:19 AM	Jerry M.	Is there anything else I may help you with?
10:07:27 AM	[eBaiting]	No but I wanted to tell you
10:07:32 AM	[eBaiting]	I finally found some good porno
10:08:54 AM	Jerry M.	Oh that's good.
10:09:07 AM	[eBaiting]	Do you want to know where I found it?
10:09:09 AM	Jerry M.	Anyway, I will be closing now [eBaiting].
10:10:24 AM	Jerry M.	If you do have further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us to assist you further. Thank you for your time and for using eBay Live Help.
[Total chat time: 1 hour, 6 minutes.] Simply astonishing. Either eBay has perfected the art of screwuppery, or they are utterly diabolical in their efforts to retain me as an active account. Take your pick, I honestly can't decide.