About this time I was starting to get some noteriety among the support staff. I ran into Jerry M. yet again and for the first time I was transferred up to a supervisor, Meridyth. Due to computer problems on her end I got me a trifecta disconnecta. Now, I was able to stay calm because at this point Iím just messing with the LiveHelp people, but imagine how aggravating this would be to an eBay user who genuinely needed assistance. This is on top of the bug in their system that promises to keep my account open for another 2 weeks! Fortunately for me, an embarrassing revelation about Jerry lightens the mood considerably.

10:15:13 AMSystemInitial Question/Comment: Other
10:15:19 AMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
10:15:19 AMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
10:16:14 AMSystemWe appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
10:17:14 AMSystemWe apologize for the wait and thank you for your continued patience. Please continue to hold to keep your place in line. You should be connected to the next available agent shortly.
10:18:14 AMSystemWe are sorry for the delayed connection. Your question is important to us and one of our representatives will be with you soon.
10:18:49 AMSystemJerry M. has joined this session!
10:18:49 AMSystemConnected with Jerry M.
10:18:54 AMJerry M.Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jerry. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
10:18:56 AM[eBaiting]Hey, Jerry M again!
10:19:03 AM[eBaiting]What are the odds?
10:19:29 AMJerry M.Hey.
10:19:39 AMJerry M.Hi [eBaiting].
10:19:49 AM[eBaiting]Hahahahaha, you didn't even have to ask for info!
10:20:06 AM[eBaiting]This is the first time I've ever gotten somebody I've talked to before
10:20:15 AM[eBaiting]Cept last time and that doesn't count cuz I asked for you specifically
10:22:19 AMJerry M.Would it be okay if I will transfer you now to my supervisor?
10:22:23 AM[eBaiting]Yeah okay
10:25:59 AMSystemMeridyth has joined this session!
10:26:34 AMMeridythHi this Is Meridyth. Jerry's supervisor, how can I help you today?
10:26:40 AM[eBaiting]Hi Meridyth
10:26:43 AMSystemJerry M. has left this session!
10:26:45 AM[eBaiting]LONG story...
10:26:51 AM[eBaiting]Back in October I submitted a request to have my account closed.
10:26:56 AM[eBaiting]I waited the customary 180 days. That was 186 days ago.
10:27:01 AM[eBaiting]My account was STILL open.
10:27:10 AM[eBaiting]Today I found out it was because of an error on eBay's site.
10:27:15 AM[eBaiting]It was stuck in an open state
10:27:25 AM[eBaiting]They fixed that, but I had to resubmit the close request.
10:27:31 AM[eBaiting]Now they say I have to wait 2 more weeks.
10:27:45 AM[eBaiting]I feel that since it was eBay's screwup, and they KNOW what I want, they should just close the thing now.
10:27:54 AM[eBaiting]That is all I want.
10:28:06 AM[eBaiting]Wow, I've never gotten a supervisor before.
10:28:10 AM[eBaiting]I must be making progress.
10:28:17 AM[eBaiting]That or Jerry transferred me because he is my friend.
10:28:25 AM[eBaiting]Did you know he was my friend?
10:28:28 AM[eBaiting]He said he was.
10:28:33 AMMeridythIs it okay if I place you on hold for a few minutes, so I can take a look at your account?
10:28:39 AM[eBaiting]I asked him last week if he would be, and he said yes.
10:28:49 AM[eBaiting]I was feeling lonely, and he was there for me.
10:29:05 AM[eBaiting]I have a pet kitty, but she is at home.
10:29:44 AMSystemMeridyth has left this session!
10:29:44 AMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
10:29:49 AMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.

At first I thought Meridyth disconnected me for going all off-topic, but of course nothing eBay does could make that much sense.

10:30:24 AMSystemAshley D. has joined this session!
10:30:24 AMSystemConnected with Ashley D.
10:30:29 AMAshley D.Hello. Welcome to eBay Live Chat. My name is Ashley. I hope you are having a great day so far! Please allow me one moment while I read over what you have written, and I'll be right with you.
10:30:40 AM[eBaiting]Hi Ashley D
10:30:45 AM[eBaiting]Something weird happened.
10:30:52 AM[eBaiting]I was talking to Meridyth
10:31:02 AM[eBaiting]And it said the session ended.
10:31:12 AM[eBaiting]Then you picked it up.
10:31:19 AM[eBaiting]I wonder why Meridyth ended the session?
10:31:27 AM[eBaiting]I am sad because I think maybe she does not like me.
10:31:33 AM[eBaiting]Jerry likes me, he is my friend.
10:31:34 AMAshley D.Im very sorry about that. I would be happy to help you if you like?
10:31:39 AM[eBaiting]I asked him last week, if he would be my friend
10:31:42 AM[eBaiting]And he said yes
10:31:45 AM[eBaiting]That is how I know he is.
10:31:48 AM[eBaiting]My friend.
10:31:58 AMAshley D.That's wonderful!
10:32:00 AM[eBaiting]Are you a supervisor like Meridyth?
10:32:07 AM[eBaiting]Or a regular employee like Jerry?
10:33:09 AMAshley D.I am a Customer Support Representative.
10:33:22 AM[eBaiting]Can you transfer me back to Meridyth?
10:33:22 AMAshley D.How can I help you today?
10:33:30 AM[eBaiting]She is the first supervisor I have ever gotten
10:33:35 AM[eBaiting]And it was exciting
10:33:40 AM[eBaiting]I felt like I was making progress
10:33:44 AMAshley D.One moment please.
10:33:48 AM[eBaiting]Plus I want to see if she left the session accidentally
10:33:48 AMAshley D.Let me see what I can do
10:33:55 AM[eBaiting]Ok thanks
10:38:09 AMAshley D.Alright, It looks as though, Meridyth is currently away from her desk. Is there anything I would be able to help you with today?
10:38:20 AM[eBaiting]That is strange...
10:38:28 AM[eBaiting]She was right in the middle of our discussion when she left
10:38:35 AM[eBaiting]I wonder why
10:38:45 AM[eBaiting]I swear I did not say anything mean or naughty
10:38:59 AMAshley D.She's not responding currently.
10:39:10 AM[eBaiting]Do you believe me?
10:39:39 AMAshley D.Yes, absolutely. How can I help you today?
10:39:46 AM[eBaiting]That is good
10:39:55 AM[eBaiting]Actually can I wait until she gets back?
10:40:03 AM[eBaiting]None of the regular customer service people have been able to help me
10:40:19 AM[eBaiting]They have tried but all they can do is give me the same answer
10:40:23 AM[eBaiting]Or sometimes different answers
10:40:25 AM[eBaiting]So no offense
10:40:25 AMAshley D.Im actually not sure when she will return. You could try coming back into chat at a later time.
10:40:32 AM[eBaiting]Can I just hold here?
10:40:34 AMAshley D.None taken!
10:42:29 AMAshley D.I can absolutely let you stay on here for a few moments. However I don't actually know how long she will be away from her desk. So if there isn't anything that I can address for you, and if she does not respond shortly, I will need to move on to another customer.
10:42:45 AM[eBaiting]Ok thanks
10:42:58 AM[eBaiting]She said she was going to put me on hold a few minutes to take a look at my account
10:43:06 AM[eBaiting]Then the session got ended
10:43:14 AM[eBaiting]Maybe that is what she is doing now
10:43:18 AM[eBaiting]Taking a look at my account
10:43:26 AM[eBaiting]Except everybody else has been able to see it from their computers
10:43:31 AM[eBaiting]Maybe she had to walk down the hall to see it
10:43:44 AMAshley D.Im not sure why this may have happened.
10:45:19 AM[eBaiting]Me either
10:45:28 AM[eBaiting]That is why I would like to ask Meridyth
10:45:30 AM[eBaiting]I bet she would know
10:46:39 AMAshley D.Alright, I have just spoken to her and I am going to be able to transfer you to her directly. One moment please.
10:46:52 AM[eBaiting]Awesome
10:48:04 AMSystemAshley D. has left this session!
10:48:04 AMSystemMeridyth has joined this session!
10:48:04 AMSystemConnected with Meridyth
10:48:19 AM[eBaiting]Hi again Meridyth
10:48:59 AMMeridythSorry about what happened earlier, there was a lost in connection.
10:49:21 AM[eBaiting]That is okay, I just wondered what happened
10:49:32 AM[eBaiting]I was excited as I have never gotten to a supervisor before
10:49:49 AMMeridythI will need to research on your account first. I'll be right back. Thanks.
10:49:56 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:51:14 AMSystemMeridyth has left this session!
10:51:15 AMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
10:51:15 AMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.

It happened again! Lou D picks me up and waits a full two and a half minutes before responding.

10:51:34 AMSystemLou D. has joined this session!
10:51:34 AMSystemConnected with Lou D.
10:51:38 AM[eBaiting]Eek
10:51:40 AM[eBaiting]Ack
10:51:41 AM[eBaiting]Urk
10:52:21 AM[eBaiting]Anybody there?
10:53:14 AM[eBaiting]Talky-talky?
10:54:04 AMLou D.Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Lou. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
10:54:15 AM[eBaiting]Actually I was talking with Meridyth
10:54:19 AM[eBaiting]And I got disconnected
10:54:22 AM[eBaiting]Then I got reconnected
10:54:24 AMLou D.One moment please while I review this transcript.
10:54:26 AM[eBaiting]Then I got disconnected again
10:54:31 AM[eBaiting]Take 2 moments, it is long
10:55:29 AMLou D.I'm sorry for the inconvenience let me transfer you back to her.
10:55:35 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:56:14 AMSystemLou D. has left this session!
10:56:19 AMSystemMeridyth has joined this session!
10:56:19 AMSystemConnected with Meridyth
10:56:24 AM[eBaiting]You can't get rid of me that easily
10:57:04 AMMeridythI am having some technical difficulty.
10:57:10 AM[eBaiting]Yeah I noticed
10:57:13 AM[eBaiting]Twice
10:57:27 AM[eBaiting]Is this the same problem that kept my account from being closed?
10:57:29 AMMeridythSorry my pc is a bit busted.
10:58:04 AMMeridythI am sorry but it has nothing to with your account.
10:58:08 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:58:13 AM[eBaiting]So where were we
10:58:24 AM[eBaiting]Do I need to re-re-re-explain stuff?
10:58:59 AMMeridythI am reviewing your previous conversation with my agent Jerry.
10:59:09 AM[eBaiting]Jerry is my friend
11:00:19 AMSystemMeridyth has left this session!
11:00:19 AMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
11:00:24 AMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.

That's three! At this point anyone actually trying to get help would likely be yelling and swearing and ripping out hair. Meridyth takes a sweet five minutes to start typing again. I couldn't help but suspect this was being done on purpose.

11:00:39 AMSystemJesse G. has joined this session!
11:00:39 AMSystemConnected with Jesse G.
11:00:43 AM[eBaiting]Hi Jesse G
11:00:49 AMJesse G.Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jesse. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
11:00:58 AM[eBaiting]Actually I need to get reconnected with Meridyth
11:01:02 AM[eBaiting]I was talking with her
11:01:05 AM[eBaiting]Then I got disconnected
11:01:08 AM[eBaiting]Then I got reconnected
11:01:11 AM[eBaiting]Then I got disconnected
11:01:17 AM[eBaiting]Then I got reconnected
11:01:18 AMJesse G.Oh, I see. I'd be happy to get you reconnected.
11:01:20 AM[eBaiting]Then I got disconnected
11:01:22 AM[eBaiting]Yes thank you
11:02:39 AMJesse G.I am now connecting to her, please wait a moment.Thank you.
11:04:54 AMSystemJesse G. has left this session!
11:04:54 AMSystemMeridyth has joined this session!
11:04:54 AMSystemConnected with Meridyth
11:04:57 AM[eBaiting][eBaiting] and Meridyth, Act 1, Scene 1, Take 4. Aaaaand... ACTION!
11:07:09 AM[eBaiting]Oh! Sorry, I have the first line
11:07:20 AM[eBaiting]So, have you had a chance to review my account yet?
11:08:59 AM[eBaiting]Yes no maybe?
11:09:47 AM[eBaiting]Did you step away from your desk again?
11:10:02 AM[eBaiting]I have that some days, I have the peepies and poopies BAD
11:10:19 AMMeridythYes, I did. I will be able to explain to you your situation, however if in case we get disconnected. Please look for another representative as I need to refresh my applications.
11:10:27 AM[eBaiting]Wow, this session has already lasted longer than any of our previous ones
11:10:37 AM[eBaiting]Is there another supervisor?
11:10:39 AMMeridythSorry for the long wait, as I ma really having some technical difficulty.
11:11:00 AM[eBaiting]I do not want to go back to the regular customer service people as they can only give me the same answer
11:11:03 AM[eBaiting]Or sometimes different ones
11:11:14 AM[eBaiting]You are the first supervisor I have gotten
11:11:34 AM[eBaiting]But if there is another one I will talk with them instead
11:11:39 AMMeridythI have spoken to Jerry, and she already explained to me what happened.

Whoa, wait, WHAT??

11:11:49 AM[eBaiting]Jerry is a she??
11:12:04 AMMeridythAnd i think you already chatted with her last week.
11:12:10 AM[eBaiting]Wow, I did not realize that
11:12:12 AM[eBaiting]I pictured a guy
11:12:16 AMMeridythYes, she is a female.
11:12:27 AM[eBaiting]Now I feel kind of guilty for asking her about porno
11:12:32 AM[eBaiting]I thought she was a fellow dude
11:12:49 AM[eBaiting]Tell her sorry I thought she was a guy based on the name, okay?
11:13:04 AMMeridythI will.
11:13:09 AM[eBaiting]Thanks
11:13:23 AM[eBaiting]So. My issue...
11:15:30 AM[eBaiting]Any progress?
11:17:19 AMMeridythThanks for waiting, I have checked on the emails that you sent to Trust and Safety. And I understand that you would like to close your account immediately.
11:17:30 AM[eBaiting]That is correct
11:19:24 AMMeridythI jundersatnd that you got another email saying that your account has been submitted for closure.
11:19:34 AM[eBaiting]Yes, and I had a question about that
11:19:45 AM[eBaiting]It says that it may take 2 weeks...
11:19:54 AM[eBaiting]*IF* there is buying or selling activity on the account
11:19:57 AM[eBaiting]Except, there is not.
11:20:06 AM[eBaiting]I have not used my eBay account in 186 days.
11:20:13 AM[eBaiting]So there is no reason to not close it immediately.
11:20:15 AM[eBaiting]...Right?
11:20:19 AMMeridythHowever, even if there are no active listings or activity, you would still wait for two weeks for it to closed permanently.
11:20:26 AM[eBaiting]That is not what the email says
11:20:31 AM[eBaiting]Hang on I will copy and paste it
11:20:44 AM[eBaiting]Dear [My eBay ID] ([My email address]),As you requested, we have begun the process to close your account. We value your membership in the eBay community, and we wish we could convince you to stay. A customer support representative may contact you to see if there?s anything we can do to address your concerns. Your account is now blocked from bidding or listing on eBay. However, you can still access your account information to determine your final bill, if applicable.If you have had recent listing or bidding activity, we require a waiting period of 14 days. By allowing 14 days to pass we are helping to ensure that all of your transactions have been completed. Once the 14 days waiting period is over, we will automatically close your account. At that time you will receive a final account closure notice from eBay. Please note that if you have an unpaid balance on your account, eBay will continue to use your contact information for collection efforts until your balance is fully paid.Once your account has b

Wupz, I hit the message size limit. This is how I know it's exactly 1032 characters. I calculated.

11:20:59 AM[eBaiting]Once your account has been permanently closed, your contact information, transaction history and feedback profile will be concealed and no longer available on the site.If you do not wish to permanently close your account, please contact us immediately. We hope that you have enjoyed your time with eBay.Regards, eBay Customer Support
11:21:15 AM[eBaiting]The key part is:
11:21:27 AMMeridythAnd I will recommend for you not to send another email again to Trust and Safety. They will reply to you at the soonest possible time.
11:21:29 AM[eBaiting]"If you have had recent listing or bidding activity, we require a waiting period of 14 days."
11:21:42 AM[eBaiting]The soonest possible time is immediately
11:21:46 AM[eBaiting]And they have not responded
11:21:50 AM[eBaiting]So I will continue to write them
11:22:57 AMMeridythThey are pretty backed up in the last several days, however rest assured that they will get you a resolution the moment they investigate on your account.
11:23:09 AM[eBaiting]Lots of people bailing from eBay, huh?
11:23:15 AM[eBaiting]The rats / sinking ship syndrome
11:23:52 AMMeridythYour emails will just pile up in queue, if you will keep on sending emails to them.
11:24:06 AM[eBaiting]That's fine, my account will be closed after 2 weeks right?
11:24:11 AM[eBaiting]So there is nothing to stop me from doing it
11:24:20 AM[eBaiting]I will just be inconveniencing other eBay users.
11:24:29 AM[eBaiting]And eBay themselves
11:24:43 AM[eBaiting]Whereas, if they would close the account NOW........
11:24:54 AM[eBaiting]They would never have to hear from me again
11:26:22 AMMeridythI totally got your point, but we have a process to follow, and it is system based so we do not have control over that. If I can only close your account, I would do that, but is already beyond my control. I hope you understand.
11:26:32 AM[eBaiting]Yeah I do
11:26:37 AM[eBaiting]But I'm still gonna waste support's time
11:26:50 AM[eBaiting]So basically being a supervisor means you tell me the same thing as the regular people do
11:26:54 AM[eBaiting]Except we get disconnected a lot
11:26:59 AM[eBaiting]This'll look great on my webpage.
11:28:17 AMMeridythI may not be able to change your past experience with eBay but we are currently improving on it to create better eBay experience.
11:28:29 AM[eBaiting]Good luck with that
11:28:33 AM[eBaiting]I won't be around to enjoy it
11:28:47 AMMeridythI am not saying, you will agree with me because you are frustrated.
11:29:00 AM[eBaiting]I'm not frustrated, I'm having fun
11:29:12 AM[eBaiting]I stopped being frustrated 186 days ago
11:29:12 AMMeridythIt's so sad to know that we haven't save you as an eBay member.
11:29:29 AM[eBaiting]Yeah I bet Meg and Pierre are holding each other and crying as I type this
11:29:33 AM[eBaiting]On their private yacht
11:29:34 AM[eBaiting]Or jet
11:29:37 AM[eBaiting]Or island
11:29:39 AM[eBaiting]Or whatever
11:30:47 AMMeridythIs there anything else I may help you with?
11:31:02 AM[eBaiting]Just don't forget to tell Jerry sorry I thought she was a dude
11:38:32 AMMeridythIf you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to come back to Live Chat and I'd be happy to assist you.
11:38:51 AM[eBaiting]Cut. Print. That's a wrap.

[Total chat time: 1 hour, 13 minutes. Most of this was due to the repeated disconnects.]

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