5/1/2007 (Day 187)

The next day things get a mite zany. My first connect is with Sheila, who canít even spell her own name. This marks the first time I got passed immediately to a supervisor, Melanie S., who completely ignores me even after I try to give her a bite of Pop-Tart through my PC's monitor.

7:50:52 AMSystemInitial Question/Comment: Other
7:50:57 AMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
7:50:57 AMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
7:51:52 AMSystemWe appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
7:52:52 AMSystemWe apologize for the wait and thank you for your continued patience. Please continue to hold to keep your place in line. You should be connected to the next available agent shortly.
7:52:57 AMSystemSheila Z. has joined this session!
7:52:57 AMSystemConnected with Sheila Z.
7:53:02 AMSheila Z.Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Shiela. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
7:53:06 AM[eBaiting]Hi Shiela Z
7:53:10 AM[eBaiting]Or is it Sheila Z?
7:53:19 AM[eBaiting]Today is the 187th day
7:54:07 AMSheila Z.I'll transfer you now with my supervisor.
7:54:15 AM[eBaiting]Wow that was fast
7:54:31 AM[eBaiting]PS You spelled your name wrong
7:55:17 AMSystemSheila Z. has left this session!
7:55:17 AMSystemMelanie S. has joined this session!
7:55:17 AMSystemConnected with Melanie S.
7:55:37 AM[eBaiting]Hi Melanie
7:55:45 AM[eBaiting]I see Sheila knew who I was right away
7:56:00 AM[eBaiting]I am the stuff of legend.
7:58:12 AM[eBaiting]Oh okay I understand... We are waiting for me to get disconnected.
7:58:20 AM[eBaiting]That always happens when I chat with supervisors
7:58:27 AM[eBaiting]Or at least it did the 2 times I did yesterday
7:58:37 AM[eBaiting]Which were the only times I talked with supervisors
7:58:57 AMMelanie S.Hi! Sorry for the delay. I had technical difficulties in here.
7:59:14 AM[eBaiting]Yeah I figured
7:59:19 AM[eBaiting]I know how stuff works there
7:59:26 AM[eBaiting]Soon I will get disconnected
7:59:33 AM[eBaiting]eBay does it this way...
7:59:41 AM[eBaiting]...in the hopes that I will get tired or frustrated and just go away.
7:59:53 AM[eBaiting]Let me take this opportunity to assure you I will do no such thing.
7:59:57 AMMelanie S.So how may I help you?
8:00:03 AM[eBaiting]Today is the 187th day.
8:00:42 AMMelanie S.Please let me know of your issue, so that I can assist you further.
8:00:56 AM[eBaiting]So Shiela Sheila knew about my issue but you do not?
8:01:01 AM[eBaiting]Veddy intedesting
8:01:07 AM[eBaiting]I requested that my account be permanently closed.
8:01:15 AM[eBaiting]They said it would take *up to* 180 days.
8:01:18 AM[eBaiting]Today is the 187th day.
8:01:33 AM[eBaiting]My account is still not permanently closed.
8:01:44 AM[eBaiting]eBay is a bunch of fibbers
8:01:50 AM[eBaiting]Fibby-fib, fibby-fibby fib-fib

Three solid minutes without a response. This appears to be Melanie's modus operandi.

8:04:46 AM[eBaiting]More technical difficulties Melanie?
8:05:07 AMMelanie S.What you can do in here...
8:05:18 AM[eBaiting]In where?
8:05:35 AM[eBaiting]In the United States?
8:05:42 AM[eBaiting]In my chair?
8:05:48 AM[eBaiting]In my undies?
8:05:52 AMMelanie S.You may want to reply on the email that we sent you.
8:06:07 AMMelanie S.You can make a follow up for the closure of your account.
8:06:33 AM[eBaiting]Which one is that?
8:06:41 AM[eBaiting]The one that said it would take 2 weeks
8:06:47 AM[eBaiting]IF I had activity on my account
8:06:48 AM[eBaiting]Which I don't
8:06:55 AM[eBaiting]But it will still take 2 weeks anyway?
8:07:02 AM[eBaiting](another eBay fibby)
8:07:14 AM[eBaiting]If I could I would give everyone in this company a good hard spanking
8:07:21 AM[eBaiting]That would learn them not to fib so much
8:07:38 AM[eBaiting]Then ALL of eBay would be red instead of just the "e"
8:09:52 AM[eBaiting]Ok since you are taking so long I am going to go make a Pop-Tart.
8:13:26 AM[eBaiting]Ok I am back with my Pop-Tart now
8:13:30 AM[eBaiting]It is chocolate
8:13:33 AM[eBaiting]That is the best kind
8:14:21 AM[eBaiting]Do you want some?
8:14:25 AM[eBaiting]Here, try it
8:14:34 AM[eBaiting]Aww dangit
8:14:43 AM[eBaiting]Now I have Pop-Tart filling on my monitor
8:15:15 AM[eBaiting]Mmm, there we go, I licked it off.
8:16:28 AM[eBaiting]You know what, FINE.
8:16:37 AM[eBaiting]If you aren't going to answer me then transfer me back to someone who can

[Total chat time: 26 minutes, most of it me waiting on Melanie.]

Later that morning, I meet Kenny W., who ends up being my Extra Special Friend for a long time to come.

10:13:24 AMSystemInitial Question/Comment: Other
10:13:29 AMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
10:13:29 AMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
10:14:24 AMSystemWe appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
10:15:24 AMSystemWe apologize for the wait and thank you for your continued patience. Please continue to hold to keep your place in line. You should be connected to the next available agent shortly.
10:16:24 AMSystemWe are sorry for the delayed connection. Your question is important to us and one of our representatives will be with you soon.
10:17:09 AMSystemChris Bu. has joined this session!
10:17:09 AMSystemConnected with Chris Bu.
10:17:14 AMChris BuHi there! Welcome to eBay Live Chat. My name's Chris and I'd like to thank you kindly for your patience. I'd be happy to assist you with your questions. Before we continue can I quickly get your user ID?
10:17:22 AM[eBaiting][My eBay ID]
10:17:54 AMChris BuOkay great! What can I do for you today, [eBaiting]?
10:18:41 AM[eBaiting]I am just trying to close my account
10:19:19 AMChris BuOkay, just a moment please, I'll look into this for you.
10:19:24 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:20:46 AM[eBaiting]I also need to file a formal complaint against a LiveHelp supervisor
10:21:39 AMChris BuOkay, your account is in the process of being closed.
10:21:47 AM[eBaiting]What is taking so long
10:21:54 AMChris BuAs for writing in a formal complaint, let me see where you'd go for that.
10:22:11 AM[eBaiting]Actually I would like to chat with the supervisor's supervisor if possible
10:22:34 AMChris BuOne moment.
10:23:08 AM[eBaiting]PS do you know Jane U or Cindy T?
10:23:39 AMChris BuIf you don't mind my asking, what is the issue? I just need to know so I can direct you appropriately.
10:23:51 AM[eBaiting]There are 2 issues
10:23:58 AM[eBaiting]1) I want to close my account but it is taking forever
10:24:45 AM[eBaiting]2) I was chatting with Melanie S, a supervisor this morning, and she just ignored me and left my session going
10:26:09 AMChris BuOkay, I'm just going to transfer you.
10:26:16 AM[eBaiting]To whom?
10:26:54 AMChris BuOne of our Leads.
10:26:59 AMSystemChris Bu. has left this session!
10:27:24 AMSystemKenny W. has joined this session!
10:27:24 AMSystemConnected with Kenny W.
10:28:24 AMKenny W.Hello, my name is Kenny and I am the Live Chat Supervisor.
10:28:34 AM[eBaiting]Hi
10:28:48 AM[eBaiting]Can I speak with *your* supervisor?
10:28:51 AM[eBaiting]The supersupervisor?
10:28:57 AM[eBaiting]I need to file a complaint against another supervisor
10:29:00 AM[eBaiting]Not you
10:29:34 AMKenny W.Sorry to hear you're having trouble. I'm actually the highest point of contact in this case, but I'd be happy to forward this further for you.
10:29:40 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:29:47 AM[eBaiting]The other supervisor's name was Melanie S.
10:29:59 AM[eBaiting]I got transferred to her, and she just left her session sitting there and ignored me.
10:30:07 AM[eBaiting]She never typed anything back
10:30:18 AM[eBaiting]And she never ate my Pop-Tart
10:30:44 AMKenny W.I'm sorry to hear that happened! I'll definitely have this investigated and take the appropriate action.
10:30:55 AM[eBaiting]Can I get a copy of whatever you forward along?
10:31:04 AMKenny W.Just to confirm, that was Melanie S., correct?
10:31:11 AM[eBaiting]Just to see that it was done
10:31:15 AM[eBaiting]Not that I don't believe you
10:31:18 AM[eBaiting]but...
10:31:20 AM[eBaiting]...
10:31:25 AM[eBaiting]I don't know how to end that sentence...
10:31:39 AMKenny W.Unfortunately, this would be internal so we won't be able to forward this information. But I can assure you that I will take the appropriate action once investigating.
10:31:57 AM[eBaiting]Ok I will ask other people to do it too, just to be sure
10:32:01 AM[eBaiting]One of them is bound to do it
10:32:09 AMKenny W.If you would like, I can quickly send you an email to let you know that I've followed up.
10:32:15 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:32:54 AMKenny W.Would that be okay? I won't be able to provide the specific details, but I can let you know when I've in fact followed up for you on this situation.
10:33:14 AM[eBaiting]Ok
10:33:54 AMKenny W.Thank for your patience with this.
10:33:59 AMKenny W.Was there anything I could in fact help you with today?
10:34:03 AM[eBaiting]Oh I don't have any patience
10:34:08 AM[eBaiting]Sorry for the confusion
10:34:54 AMKenny W.That's okay.
10:36:09 AMKenny W.Was there anything else I could help you with today?
10:36:51 AM[eBaiting]Yes
10:36:58 AM[eBaiting]I am trying to close my account permanently
10:37:03 AM[eBaiting]But everybody is telling me I have to wait
10:37:10 AM[eBaiting]I have already waited 180 days
10:37:13 AM[eBaiting]And 7 days after that
10:37:21 AM[eBaiting]Now I am told I have to wait 14 more days
10:37:29 AM[eBaiting]And after that there will probably be another wait
10:37:37 AM[eBaiting]I just want it closed now
10:37:44 AM[eBaiting]I will pay you
10:37:48 AMKenny W.I'd like to check into this for you please. For verification purposes, may I please have your full name, address, and phone number?
10:37:59 AM[eBaiting]Or if you have any "problems"
10:38:05 AM[eBaiting]I can "take care" of those "problems" for you
10:39:34 AMKenny W.Sorry if you missed my last message. May I verify your account by getting you full name, address, and phone number please?
10:40:17 AM[eBaiting][My name]
10:40:23 AM[eBaiting]That is my name, please do not wear it out
10:40:31 AM[eBaiting][My address]
10:40:36 AM[eBaiting][My phone number]
10:41:09 AMKenny W.Thank you. I have confirmed your account. Just one moment while I check the status of your account please.
10:43:19 AMKenny W.Thanks for waiting. Just to let you know, this may take a couple of minutes to ensure I get everything covered.
10:44:16 AM[eBaiting]Take your time, there is a LOT of stuff from this week and last
10:44:23 AM[eBaiting]Most of it is because of me
10:48:04 AM[eBaiting]Still there?
10:48:04 AMKenny W.Thanks again for waiting. Checking into this for you, i see yesterday you received an email informing you your account was pending closure, is that correct?
10:48:11 AM[eBaiting]Yes
10:48:15 AM[eBaiting]However that email also said
10:48:25 AM[eBaiting]That it would take 2 weeks *IF* there was activity on my account
10:48:28 AM[eBaiting]But there is not
10:48:35 AM[eBaiting]I have not bought or sold anything in 187 days
10:48:41 AM[eBaiting]So why can't it be closed immediately?
10:49:29 AMKenny W.Yes, I see you have no recent account activity, so what I would like to do is see if I can forward this to have it closed prior to that time. Please know though that the 14 days is typically standard to help ensure we don't close anyone's account prematurely.
10:49:43 AM[eBaiting]Trust me you will NOT be closing mine prematurely
10:49:53 AM[eBaiting]I have made my decision and I will NOT change my mind
10:50:04 AMKenny W.So, even if I were to forward this for you, it still may take 14 days as it's already in the process.
10:50:19 AM[eBaiting]If there's any chance at all please do it
10:50:29 AMKenny W.With this in mind, you will be able to log in, but will not be able to buy, or sell on the site right now. So basically it already is closed, just to fully removed.
10:50:39 AM[eBaiting]Yeah but I don't even want to be able to log in
10:50:43 AMKenny W.I will definitely forward this to see what I am able to do further for you.
10:50:50 AM[eBaiting]I want it 100% closed and never ever reopenablblblblble
10:52:44 AMKenny W.Thank you, and I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, it is assured that the 14 days will be the final deadline.
10:52:52 AM[eBaiting]I sincerely doubt that
10:52:58 AMKenny W.As your account has been submitted into the process and is pending termination.
10:53:00 AM[eBaiting]180 days was supposed to be the final deadline
10:53:18 AM[eBaiting]I suspect eBay will try to hang on with a death grip
10:53:26 AM[eBaiting]It looks bad when people quit
10:53:31 AM[eBaiting]So they make it like pulling teeth
10:53:35 AM[eBaiting]Hoping I will give up
10:53:45 AM[eBaiting]Then they can say the account is still active
10:53:52 AM[eBaiting]"No one ever leaves eBay"
10:53:59 AM[eBaiting]That sounds good to the stockholders
10:54:04 AM[eBaiting]And they drive eBay policy
10:54:07 AM[eBaiting]Everybody knows that
10:54:44 AMKenny W.Well, I've seen people leave eBay. Typically when they leave, they just leave their account, it goest through process, then we close it. Though it can take a little while to process the removal of all you information, if you request it, we must close it.
10:55:01 AM[eBaiting]Then close it already
10:55:07 AM[eBaiting]I have requested this about 500 times
10:55:14 AM[eBaiting]Does that mean they will close the account 500 times?
10:55:23 AM[eBaiting]They had better or I will be back
10:55:44 AMKenny W.I understand, and from the email you received as well as looking at the status of your account, it's already "officially" in the removal stage.
10:56:14 AMKenny W.Once that goes into play, though I understand you've already waited 187 days, it will be removed soon.
10:56:47 AM[eBaiting]I think I better just keep writing to LiveHelp to be sure
10:56:52 AM[eBaiting]Just so they don't forget
10:56:52 AMKenny W.I also understand that you don't believe it will be removed in that time, and if it is not, please come back and I'd be happy to deal with you further from there.
10:57:07 AM[eBaiting]Yeah, then *another* 14 days...
10:57:12 AM[eBaiting]Then another 180 days...
10:57:15 AM[eBaiting]Just drag it out forever
10:57:18 AM[eBaiting]Or until I give up
10:57:25 AM[eBaiting]Which please let me assure you will never happen
10:58:14 AMKenny W.In 14 business days your account is not removed, please come back to Live Chat and request me specifically.
10:58:24 AMKenny W.I'd be happy to help you address this further.
10:58:42 AM[eBaiting]If you say so
10:58:49 AMKenny W.My working days are Tuesday - Saturday : 8am - 5pm PST
10:59:04 AMKenny W.So if you come in at that time, you can request a transfer to me and I'd be happy to help you deal with this further.
10:59:19 AM[eBaiting]Do you have a direct phone extension?
10:59:54 AMKenny W.I apologize as we do not offer phone support. But if you come into live chat and request me, I will handle this further for you.
11:00:43 AM[eBaiting]Ok I will do that
11:01:24 AMKenny W.Thank you.
11:01:44 AMKenny W.Until that time, thank you for waiting. I understand this must be frustrating for you and hope I can forward this to removed more promptly.
11:04:34 AMKenny W.Was there anything else I could help you with today, [eBaiting]?
11:04:44 AM[eBaiting]Is eBay PayPal?
11:05:49 AMKenny W.Though eBay does own paypal, they are separate companies who have different support teams. If you need to contact them, they do have a phone number. Would you like that number?
11:05:56 AM[eBaiting]Is eBay Half.com?
11:06:34 AMKenny W.It's the same situation with Half.com. Though eBay is more closely related with Half, they have a separate support team as well.
11:06:39 AM[eBaiting]Ok thanks
11:07:04 AMKenny W.You're very welcome.
11:11:29 AMKenny W.Was there anything else today?
11:13:59 AMKenny W.Just making sure I haven't lost you. Are you still with me?
11:14:04 AM[eBaiting]Yes
11:14:34 AMKenny W.Thanks. Was there anything else I could help you with today?
11:14:44 AM[eBaiting]Can I get a copy of this chat sent to [My email address] ?
11:14:59 AMKenny W.Yes, you may.
11:15:08 AM[eBaiting]Thanks
11:15:24 AMKenny W.I'll send this as soon as this chat ends.
11:15:27 AM[eBaiting]Ok
11:15:49 AMKenny W.It's been a pleasure chatting with you. Thank you for your time.
11:15:59 AM[eBaiting]Welcome
11:16:24 AMKenny W.Have a nice day, and bye for now.
11:16:30 AM[eBaiting]Yeah for now
11:16:32 AM[eBaiting]I will definitely return

[Total chat time: 1 hour, 3 minutes.]

Naturally I can't rely on Kenny to pass my complaint along, so I'd better ask someone else to be sure. This time I get Bob, who's the polar opposite of Melanie. In fact he sends an apology for the wait every couple of minutes. I wonder if Bob and Melanie came into contact with each other, if the universe would explode?

1:22:50 PMBob M.Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Bob. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
1:23:14 PM[eBaiting]Hi Bobs
1:23:21 PM[eBaiting]I need to file a formal complaint
1:23:46 PMBob M.I'd be happy to help you with this! What is the complaint regarding?
1:24:02 PM[eBaiting]There is a LiveHelp supervisor, Melanie S.
1:24:16 PM[eBaiting]I got transferred to her, and she completely ignored me.
1:24:24 PM[eBaiting]She just left me sitting in chat until I gave up.
1:24:30 PM[eBaiting]And she never said thanks for the Pop-Tart.
1:24:36 PM[eBaiting]I was wondering if you can transfer me to HER supervisor.
1:25:24 PMBob M.I'll be back in a moment, I'll see what I can find out for you.
1:28:32 PMBob M.Sorry to keep you waiting, I'll be back with you in just a moment.
1:29:07 PM[eBaiting]That's okay
1:31:48 PMBob M.I'm really sorry it's taking so long, I'm still
1:33:42 PM[eBaiting]Thanks for keeping me posted
1:35:22 PMBob M.I appreciate your patience and I'd like to thank you for waiting. Looking at your chat history it looks like you've been trying to get your account closed for a long time. I'd like to take a look into your account to see what I can do for you. Before we continue I just need to quickly verify that you're the account holder. May I have your full name, mailing address, zip code, phone number and your registered email address please?
1:36:53 PM[eBaiting][My real name]
1:36:55 PM[eBaiting][My address line 1]
1:36:59 PM[eBaiting][My address line 2]
1:37:06 PM[eBaiting][My phone number]
1:37:11 PM[eBaiting][My email address]
1:37:56 PMBob M.Thank you. One moment while I review this for you.
1:40:53 PMBob M.Thanks for waiting. I see thatthere was a message sent yesterday by our account closure team, letting you know the process had begun to finally get the account closed. Did you get that message?
1:41:11 PM[eBaiting]Yes, however...
1:41:26 PM[eBaiting]It says I only have to wait 2 weeks *if* there is buying/selling activity on the account
1:41:28 PM[eBaiting]And there is not.
1:41:34 PM[eBaiting]So they should be able to close it right now.
1:43:23 PMBob M.One moment please, I"m taking a look for you.
1:46:33 PMBob M.Sorry to keep you waiting, I'll be back with you in just a moment.
1:49:43 PMBob M.Thanks for your patience. I'm really sorry it's taking so long, I'll be back as soon as possible.
1:50:00 PM[eBaiting]That's fine, I appreciate you keeping me posted.
1:52:22 PMBob M.Thanks for waiting. I'm going to transfer you over to my supervisor in a moment, she's going to take a look into the situation for you. Her name is Leena. Please hold for the transfer.
1:52:42 AMSystemBob M. has left this session!
1:54:10 AMSystemLeena S. has joined this session!
1:54:10 AMSystemConnected with Leena S.
1:54:18 PM[eBaiting]Hi Leena
1:54:22 PMLeena S.Thanks for waiting.
1:54:27 PM[eBaiting]I'm guessing you're either here to disconnect me or ignore me.
1:54:43 PM[eBaiting]This is based on my past experience with LiveHelp supervisors
1:54:45 PMLeena S.Hi there, this is Leena the Live Chat supervisor. No not at all. Please give me a moment to review your account.
1:54:45 PM[eBaiting]All 3 of them
1:55:02 PMLeena S.I understand that you are looking to close your account. Is that correct?
1:55:09 PM[eBaiting]Yes
1:55:28 PMLeena S.Let me go through your history here and see what is going and we will go from there.
1:55:40 PM[eBaiting]Ok
1:55:53 PM[eBaiting]I do need to leave for a bit in about 5 minutes
1:56:01 PM[eBaiting]If I'm away can you keep the session active?
1:56:41 PMLeena S.Sure. Okay I have your account up here now and I do see that the closure is set to complete by May 14th.
1:56:54 PM[eBaiting]Can't it be done sooner?
1:57:16 PM[eBaiting]The email I got says the 2 week wait is only necessary if I have buying/selling activity on the account
1:57:18 PM[eBaiting]Which I do not.
1:57:24 PM[eBaiting]And have not had for 187 days
1:57:27 PM[eBaiting]Today is the 187th day
1:57:34 PM[eBaiting]I
1:57:35 PM[eBaiting]just
1:57:36 PM[eBaiting]want
1:57:37 PM[eBaiting]it
1:57:38 PM[eBaiting]closed
1:58:19 PMLeena S.well basically the system needs to process the closure and the information I am seeing here is showing May 14th. Let me take a look here at what you received.
1:58:36 PM[eBaiting]They have had 180 days to process the closure
1:58:38 PM[eBaiting]187
1:58:46 PM[eBaiting]What exactly takes so long?
1:58:51 PM[eBaiting]What exactly needs to be processed?
1:59:20 PM[eBaiting]Ok I need to leave but can you send a transcript of this session to My email address?
2:01:16 PMLeena S.Do you know how long you will be away?
2:01:47 PMLeena S.You have quite a bit of feedback on your account? Are you certain you want to give this up?
2:09:25 PMLeena S.I am following up on your account situation here. It looks like the last supervisor you spoke did try to escalate your request so that your account could be closed sooner. Though we have manually initiated this, the system needs to the rest.
2:15:11 PMLeena S.Thanks for waiting.
2:16:32 PMLeena S.Okay we tried to see if there was any way to get around this right now. If we do anything to the account, it may reactive it and take longer than the 2 weeks to shut down. The best thing to do in this situation is to just hang in there and the closure should be complete by May 14th.
2:18:23 PMLeena S.I will go ahead and follow up with an email transcript to your address My email address.

I pulled a Melanie, and just walked off and left at this point. Perhaps if I mimic their behavior they will come to accept me as one of their own?

[Total chat time: 56 minutes.]

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