5/13/2007 (Day 199)

2:27:05 PMSystemInitial Question/Comment: Other
2:27:11 PMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
2:27:12 PMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
2:28:08 PMSystemWe appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
2:29:06 PMSystemWe apologize for the wait and thank you for your continued patience. Please continue to hold to keep your place in line. You should be connected to the next available agent shortly.
2:29:06 PMSystemCindy T. has joined this session!
2:29:06 PMSystemConnected with Cindy T.
2:29:10 PMCindy T.Hello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Cindy.
2:29:16 PM[eBaiting]Hi my name is [eBaiting]
2:29:24 PMCindy T.If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
2:29:35 PM[eBaiting]user ID = [My eBay ID]
2:29:39 PM[eBaiting]I just told my first name
2:29:46 PM[eBaiting]Little quick on the copy n paste there
2:30:13 PMCindy T.Thanks [eBaiting], I sent that before I saw your reply, I'm sorry.
2:30:28 PM[eBaiting]Never use haste with copy-n-paste
2:31:16 PMCindy T.How may I help today?
2:31:50 PM[eBaiting]My eBay account is broken
2:32:12 PMCindy T.What seems to be happening for you?
2:32:24 PM[eBaiting]Nothing
2:32:30 PM[eBaiting]I asked them to close it 180 days ago
2:32:39 PM[eBaiting]Today is the 199th day.
2:32:47 PM[eBaiting]It is still open
2:33:03 PM[eBaiting]Oh and do not try changing the password and telling me it is closed
2:33:10 PM[eBaiting]Pooyan K tried that earlier this week
2:33:15 PM[eBaiting]He is a sneakery-snook
2:33:23 PM[eBaiting]But I did not fall for it
2:33:50 PMCindy T.I am sorry to hear that this has happened for you. Let me see what I can find out.
2:34:20 PM[eBaiting]Take your time, there's lots
2:35:38 PMCindy T.I am just looking into something, please bear with me.
2:35:55 PM[eBaiting]Take your time, there are many somethings
2:37:57 PMCindy T.Thank you for waiting. I am just going to get you over to one of the supervisors, it will just be a few moments. Thanks for being patient.
2:38:06 PMSystemCindy T. has left this session!
2:38:54 PMSystemHenry Y. has joined this session!
2:38:55 PMSystemConnected with Henry Y.
2:39:18 PM[eBaiting]O Henry!
2:39:27 PMHenry Y.Hello [eBaiting].
2:39:43 PM[eBaiting]I was just telling Cindy T about my problem
2:40:43 PM[eBaiting]Earlier this week Pooyan K tried to trick me
2:40:52 PMHenry Y.Thanks, I see what you've written above. Your account is scheduled for closure on May 14th and should be closed by May 15th.
2:41:02 PM[eBaiting]Waaaaaait a minute
2:41:13 PM[eBaiting]Everybody has said it would be closed ON May 14th
2:41:16 PMHenry Y.That's a few days away and i appreciate your patience.
2:41:28 PM[eBaiting]See now they pushed it back 1 day
2:41:38 PM[eBaiting]On the 15th it will be the 16th, and so on
2:41:57 PMHenry Y.No, it's still May 14th.
2:42:18 PM[eBaiting]No you just said the 15th
2:42:29 PMHenry Y.But I'm not certain what time of day it'll be on the 14th
2:42:44 PMHenry Y.But if you check on the 15th, it should be closed by then.
2:43:10 PM[eBaiting]Is there any chance it will be closed on the 14th?
2:43:12 PMHenry Y.I didn't want you to check on the 14th and find it's still not closed because I don't have a definite time as to when it'll be closed on the 14th
2:43:27 PM[eBaiting]Or is it definitely not until the 15th?
2:43:31 PMHenry Y.Yes, that's when it's scheduled to be closed.
2:43:34 PMHenry Y.I just don't have the exact time for you, that's all.
2:43:56 PM[eBaiting]I will check anyway on the 14th
2:44:14 PMHenry Y.Sure, no problem.
2:44:33 PMHenry Y.Is there anything else I can help you with for now [eBaiting]?
2:44:47 PM[eBaiting]Yes why did Pooyan K try to trick me?
2:45:04 PM[eBaiting]He changed my password and tried to tell me my acct was closed
2:45:19 PM[eBaiting]But I did not fall for it, I requested a new password and eBay sent it
2:45:20 PMHenry Y.Did he mention that the account was closed?
2:45:30 PMHenry Y.I can pull up the previous chat.
2:45:35 PMHenry Y.When did you chat with him last?
2:45:42 PM[eBaiting]It was strongly implied
2:45:57 PM[eBaiting]He said my acct was "basically closed"
2:46:03 PM[eBaiting]I said I could still sign in
2:46:09 PM[eBaiting]He said try it now
2:46:22 PM[eBaiting]I believe it was Wednesday
2:46:36 PM[eBaiting]I know, I have lots of chats to go through
2:46:42 PM[eBaiting]They are all going up on my website
2:47:40 PMHenry Y.I see, thanks. I'm sorry if there was some misunderstanding about it. Sometimes we reset passwords when members are concerned about other people accessing their accounts while they're going through the account closure process.
2:47:52 PM[eBaiting]Ooh good cover
2:48:03 PM[eBaiting]You guys are masters at this
2:48:54 PMHenry Y.It should only be a few more days [eBaiting]. I appreciate your patience.
2:49:06 PM[eBaiting]What patience?
2:49:20 PM[eBaiting]It is okay I have been keeping busy
2:49:33 PM[eBaiting]I have something planned after this is all over
2:50:45 PMHenry Y.Anything else I can help you with for now [eBaiting]?
2:51:13 PM[eBaiting]Yes I would like a large thin crust with peperroni, green peppers
2:51:16 PM[eBaiting]olives
2:51:28 PM[eBaiting]sausage if it's not the greasy packaged kind
2:51:44 PM[eBaiting]extra cheese
2:51:47 PMHenry Y.That's fantastic.

[Total chat time: 24 minutes.]

5/14/2007 (Day 200)

After 200 days, 20 of them spent annoying the living monkeybread out of LiveHelp, my eBay account was FINALLY closed. I couldn't sign in. I couldn't request a new password. When I went to the feedback page, it said my user wasn't valid. I was completely FREE of eBay.

Of course I couldn't resist taking one last swipe at Henry Y...

7:20:35 PMSystemInitial Question/Comment: Other
7:20:41 PMSystemThank you for contacting eBay Live Help!
7:20:41 PMSystemYou are successfully connected to eBay Live Help. Please hold for the next available Live Help Agent.
7:21:37 PMSystemWe appreciate your patience. You will be able to type in your question as soon as you are connected with a Live Help Agent. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.
7:22:08 PMSystemJola has joined this session!
7:22:08 PMSystemConnected with Jola
7:22:13 PMJolaHello, thank you for waiting and welcome to eBay Live Chat! My name is Jola. If you're a registered member, may I please start by having you confirm your User ID and first name?
7:22:14 PMI hate you all.Hola Jola
7:22:20 PMI hate you all.My name is [My name]
7:22:26 PMI hate you all.My ID is [My eBay ID]
7:22:48 PMJolaHi [eBaiting]! How may I help you today?
7:22:57 PMI hate you all.I am having a problem with my account
7:23:01 PMI hate you all.It is not working
7:23:06 PMI hate you all.Is there a supervisor available?
7:23:10 PMI hate you all.One helped me last time
7:23:14 PMI hate you all.I think it was Henry Y.
7:23:54 PMJolaI'll go ahead and check if a supervisor is available, [eBaiting]. One moment, please.
7:24:00 PMI hate you all.Ok thanks
7:24:13 PMJolaYou're welcome.
7:29:00 PMJola[eBaiting], sorry to keep you waiting. Henry. Y. is currently unavailable right now.
7:29:09 PMI hate you all.I don't mind waiting if he is just busy
7:29:19 PMI hate you all.I am working on other stuff while I wait
7:30:20 PMJolaIf you want, you may contact us again later to check if he is available already.
7:30:32 PMI hate you all.I can just wait, it is okay
7:37:01 PMJolaThank you for patiently waiting, [eBaiting].
7:37:15 PMI hate you all.No problem
7:40:35 PMJola[eBaiting], I'll be connecting you now to Henry Y.
7:40:40 PMJolaThank you for using eBay Live Chat.
7:40:51 PMSystemJola has left this session!
7:40:51 PMSystemHenry Y. has joined this session!
7:40:51 PMSystemConnected with Henry Y.
7:41:21 PMHenry Y.Hello again [eBaiting]. What I can help you with today?
7:41:30 PMI hate you all.Yes my eBay account is not working
7:42:02 PMHenry Y.Let me take a look at your account to check the status of it. Again, for security reasons, can I get your email address, your full name, address (including zip code) and phone number you used to register on eBay?
7:42:12 PMI hate you all.[My email address]
7:42:16 PMI hate you all.[My real name]
7:42:27 PMI hate you all.[My address]
7:42:32 PMI hate you all.[My phone number]
7:43:04 PMHenry Y.Thank you. I'll just be a minute.
7:44:05 PMHenry Y.Thanks for waiting. It looks like the account has officially been closed and deleted from our system.
7:44:19 PMI hate you all.What?
7:44:20 PMI hate you all.Why?
7:44:27 PMHenry Y.That's the reason why Sandy N. wasn't able to find any record of your email address. Sorry for the confusion.
7:44:42 PMI hate you all.Why would that happen?
7:44:59 PMHenry Y.It's as you had previously requested [eBaiting]. You mentioned in your email on the 16th "NO.... I have ALREADY waited the 180 days. CLOSE IT NOW."
7:45:04 PMHenry Y.And your account is not officially closed.
7:45:10 PMI hate you all.I never asked for that
7:45:11 PMHenry Y.I mean it's *now officially closed.
7:45:22 PMI hate you all.Why would I do that?
7:45:26 PMI hate you all.I had over 1500 feedback!
7:45:34 PMI hate you all.Now it is gone!
7:45:42 PMI hate you all.Can you get it back?
7:47:17 PMHenry Y.You had requested that the account be closed in our previous chats as well as in your email correspondences with us. Would you like me to send you a copy of what you've written to us?
7:47:25 PMI hate you all.Yes please
7:47:33 PMI hate you all.I never asked for this
7:47:44 PMI hate you all.It does not make any sense
7:48:15 PMHenry Y.Do you remember chatting with myself and Pooyan and Kenny?
7:48:26 PMI hate you all.Who?
7:48:41 PMI hate you all.No I do not remember these people
7:48:55 PMI hate you all.I think someone got my information and closed my account
7:48:57 PMHenry Y.But you remember chatting with me right?
7:49:38 PMHenry Y.I see. Do you remember chatting with me previously [eBaiting]?

Okay, fun's over, time to come clean.

7:50:07 PMI hate you all.Yeah I'm just messin with ya
7:50:12 PMI hate you all.A chilling vision of things to come
7:50:57 PMHenry Y.Ok, it looks like your account is closed just like you wanted [eBaiting].
7:51:06 PMI hate you all.Yeah but I'm not done yet
7:51:15 PMI hate you all.I want eBay to improve their customer service
7:51:29 PMI hate you all.This whole mess would never have happened if I could just talk to people who could do something
7:51:33 PMI hate you all.So now I have a mission
7:51:47 PMI hate you all.Pierre and Meg shall tremble before my awesome power
7:51:52 PMI hate you all.It is Written
7:52:00 PMI hate you all.(I wrote it, just there)
7:54:39 PMI hate you all.You are still here
7:54:51 PMI hate you all.Would you care to join me?
7:54:57 PMI hate you all.You would make a fine henchman
7:55:28 PMHenry Y.As it's stated on the Help pages [eBaiting], there's a waiting period before we close accounts. Here's what it says exactly: Waiting period If you've listed or bid on an item recently, eBay imposes a waiting period of up to 180 days before closing your account. The waiting period helps ensure that any transactions are complete. During the waiting period, you won't be able to bid, make purchases, list items, or change your contact information - but you'll still have access to your account information.
7:55:47 PMI hate you all.Um, dude? My account IS closed.
7:55:57 PMI hate you all.I am just saying, it is not over
7:55:58 PMHenry Y.Here's the page where you can find that information: http://pages.ebay.com/help/account/closing-account.html
7:56:13 PMI hate you all.I am taking on eBay's entire support process now.
7:56:14 PMHenry Y.That's right, it's closed as per your request. Is there anything else I can help you with for now?
7:56:16 PMI hate you all.I have a plan
7:56:21 PMI hate you all.Yes --Join me
7:58:27 PMI hate you all.Are you interested?
7:58:33 PMI hate you all.If you do not say, I will choose for you.
7:59:25 PMHenry Y.Alright [eBaiting]. If there's nothing else I can help you with regarding your account, I'll need to move on to help other members.
7:59:32 PMI hate you all.As you wish
8:03:01 PMI hate you all.Hmm, apparently you do not wish?
8:03:15 PMI hate you all.You have my email address, write me after you get off work and we shall plot.
8:03:24 PMI hate you all.You can be the Inside Man
8:03:49 PMHenry Y.Thanks for contacting Live Chat. Take care [eBaiting]!

Well, I never heard from Henry Y. again. Apparently he was not interested in helping me take down eBay from the inside. Eh well. What might have been...

[Total chat time: 43 minutes.]

[GRAND TOTAL of all time spent in chat with me (time that could have been spent helping other people who actually wanted to use eBay): 22 hours, 8 minutes.]

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